NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Donald Trump places "all the blame for the fuss about the topless photos of Kate Middleton squarely on Kate herself."
"There should be a law," says Trump, "that no British Royal be allowed to get nekkid, ever, even when bathing."
However, Trump, never one to miss an opportunity to make an easy buck, mailed an invitation to the Duchess to enter his annual Mrs. World Contest.
"To qualify for entrance in the pageant, she'll have to name her knockers," Trump said.
OK, moving along. In other Kate related news today:
There is far more interest in naming Kate's girls, according to the National Inquierereer, the tabloid paper from Lantanaanna, Florida. The ever-so-popular checkout impulse buy claims that Kate is expecting twins, "girls according to unnamed sources close to the Duchess."
"We are running a contest to name Kate's girls. The winners will receieve an all-expenses-paid visit to London and will be in the delivery room at the time the twins are birthed," the tabloid stated.
Thus far the leading entries are:
Rimi and Stimpi,
Tomi and Jerri,
Rihanna and Pink,
Gwen and KT;
Bevis and Butthead.
"The Duchess and her Royal Hunkiness are traveling in some God forsaken, remote place in order to flee the nonesense over her breastessess," said a ET spokesperson.
"No confirmation of any pregnancy has been made by the Duchess or by any spokeman for the Royal Family," according to a source close to the Royal Family.
"She's preggers," said Camilla Parker-Bowles.