Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 22 September 2012

image for Kate Middleton To Appear on Gordon Ramsay's Hell's Kitchen
The Duchess of Cambridge is eager to guest star on "Hell's Kitchen." (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

HOLLYWOOD - It is now official that Kate Middleton has agreed to appear on an upcoming episode of Gordon Ramsay's reality show Hell's Kitchen.

A spokesperson for the show identified as Loretta Sue Piffkinhaus, 43, has said that Ramsay was finally able to get the Duchess of Cambridge to agree to guest star on his show by offering to present her with the latest state-of-the-art refrigerator.

Middleton did insist that Ramsay sign a waiver agreement stating that he would not yell, scream, or holler while in her presence.

She also insisted that he not use any curse words or vulgarisms that could upset her husband's grandmother Queen Elizabeth and cause her to call her up and chastise her up and down from London to Liverpool.

Kate has really taken a beating in the press lately due to the fact that she was photographed without her swimsuit bikini top, while vacationing in a private $24 million mansion, Chateau Qui, just outside of Le Croissant, France.

The unnamed photographer, who is a resident of Scotland, used one of the most powerful zoom lenses in the civilized world.

It was reported by the Scottish news agency Ye Old Lass News Agency that they hope to break the story wide open with the photographer's name real soon.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I spoke with Piers Morgan and he informed me that he has narrowed down the Scottish photographer who took the infamous knocker photos to Ogilvy Colin Drummondorf, 29, of Glasgow, or Cuthbert Mungohunter, 57, of Peterculter.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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