Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 15 September 2012

image for Sandra Bullock Reveals Secrets About Ex-Husband Jesse James
A snake Sandra was given by Maksim Chmerkovskiy which she named "Messy Jesse" after her ex-husband.

AUSTN - Sandra Bullock has shown that she weathered the breakup of her marriage to "Messy" Jesse James with flying colors.

Bullock did admit recently to Fajita San Guacamole with The Hollywood Innuendo that when she first learned that James had cheated on her with several women she was absolutely devastated and justifiably livid with rage.

Sandra remembers feeling as if Jesse "The Cheater" had run over her with one of his big, damn motorcycles.

But as they say in Greenwich, England, time heals all wounds, and she was glad to see that his relationship with the much tattooed Kat Von D did not last due to his pathological philandering.

Bullock told Miss San Guacamole that she promised that she would not bad mouth Jesse but she has since changed her mind. She related how he is one of the nation's top collectors of Nazi memorabilia and artifacts.

She revealed that he even had a pair of lavender pajamas that were covered with hand-sewn swastikas that he used to sleep in every night.

Sandra also pointed out that Jesse owned 17 books written about Adolf Hitler including two coloring books.

She giggled when she said that he even learned some of Hitler's favorite German sayings like Hallo Zucker Lippen (Hello sugar lips), Ist das ein freckle (Is that a freckle?), and Bringen Sie mir etras Sauerkraut jetzt (Bring me some sauerkraut now).

SIDENOTE: Sandra recently turned 48, and she says that she is presently as happy as a woodpecker in a Lincoln Log factory.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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