LONDON - The British publication Ta Ta For Now News is getting ready to publish topless photographs which were allegedly taken of Kate Middleton, AKA The Duchess of Cambridge.
TTFNN's Chatsworth Wiggonholt stated that Kate "The Great" as Dancing With The Stars judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman calls her was reportedly unaware that as she and hubby Prince William were laying out by the Buckingham Palace swimming pool that someone secretly snapped half a dozen photos of the Royal Rack.
Wiggonholt noted that Buck House security is presently pouring over half a dozen security camera tapes in hopes of finding the pap pixing culprit and bringing him to justice.
This nude escapade follows on the heels of Prince Harry's Las Vegas naked exposé, in which he was photographed underwearless and in the presence of three Vegas showgirls while playing Spin The Jose Cuervo Tequila Bottle in his luxurious suite at the exquisite Hotel Golden Bricks.
British law clearly stipulates that anyone wantonly taking any explicit photos of any member of the British royal family is subject to being incarcerated for up to 7 years and fined 50,000 pounds [$80,579 U.S.].
A spokesperson for Queen Elizabeth II, Nigel S. Worthingfickle stated that the queen is extremely upset by the situation regarding Kate and she is seriously thinking about putting some sanctions on her and William.
When Mr. Worthingfickle was asked to explain, he simply shook his head and remarked that the royal couple could receive a 60 day ban from attending any dinner parties at Buckingham Palace.
He added that they could also be restricted from leaving their residence for two weeks except to go to the grocery store, the drug store, or to a McDonald's, which was one of the proud sponsors of London's Summer Olympics.
SIDENOTE: Calls made to Kate and William were answered with a recorded message which stated, "We are both extremely embarrassed about this topless incident and we do not wish to talk to anyone about it and that includes Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan, Cat Deeley, and Ricky Gervais, especially Ricky Gervais. Thank you."