Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 13 September 2012

image for Simon Cowell's X-Factor Kicks Off Season Number 2
Britney Spears is not shy about telling X-Factor contestants that they just don't have it. (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

AUSTIN - Season 2 of Simon Cowell's X-Factor shot right out of the chute like a 2,000 pound bucking Brahma bull.

After months and months of searching for two judges to replace the fired Paula "Touchdown" Abdul and Nicole "Teardrops" Scherzinger, Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell picked Britney "The Biscuit" Spears and Demi "Giggles" Lovato to join him and L.A. "Fancy Dawg" Reid.

The first show had the usual horrendously horrible singers who sad to say did not realize just how bad they really were.

One singer, identified as Kelton "Beer Bottle" Grittmeister, 31, was told by Simon that he sounded like a woodchuck being molested by a donkey.

Grittmeister uttered an expletive and simply said that Simon doesn't know as much about music as Rush Limbaugh does.

He then noted that Britney and Demi must have forgotten to take their ear plugs out. He commented that L.A. is nothing more than a Randy "The Dawg" Jackson wannabe in a fancy suit.

Another singer, Erica Flo Bandiburger, 21, when told she sounded a bit like a volcanic eruption shot the bird at Simon and told him that he really needs to go back to his native Germany.

When he informed her that he is from England she replied, "Who the hell ever heard of Nazi's being from England?"

In a Related Story. L.A. Reid who is an immaculate dresser asked Simon where he purchased his plain white T-shirt. And the Royal Dude of Rude replied that he got it at a discount bin at a Walmart in La Brea for $1.29.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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