BEVERLY HILLS - Miley Cyrus, who has cut off most of her hair, was sitting in the Haven of Hair Saloon getting some touch ups to her new hair cut and hairdo by FuFi Fondue, the man known as The Hair Stylist To The Stars.
She was reading a copy of the supermarket tabloid Just Saying when she turned the page and let out a scream.
"Lies! lies!" she angrily hollered out.
Fondue was so startled by her outburst that he almost dropped his $1,300 imported Italian cutting scissors.
He asked Miley what she was cackling about. She showed him an article in the tabloid with the heading "Miley Cyrus seeking out lesbianites."
Three photos accompanying the article allegedly showed Cyrus in three different night clubs kissing three different girls.
The photo captions identified the three girls as Jewel Palazola, Boopsie Kirchmuffin, and Arcadia Zuckerlippen.
Palazola and Zuckerlippen are both 19, and Kirchmuffin is 22. And all three had haircuts similar to Miley's along with an array of tattoos ranging from a komodo dragon to a smurf and a female vampire to a tattoo of Justin Bieber's face.
The three articles each hinted that 3 out of 10 therapists believe that Miley could be leaning toward hoohadom (lesbianitis).
Cyrus stated that nothing could be farther from the truth and added that she is engaged to marry Liam Hemsworth and if she was gay she would never have gotten engaged to a man and would have instead gotten engaged to a fellow gally gal (lesbianite).
A Friendly Reminder. September 21, is National Make and Eat A Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich Day except in Arizona.