Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Shakira, Colombia, Dancer

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

image for Shakira's Ex-boyfriend Suing Her For $250 Million!
Shakira's erotic hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour. (Photo by El Niño).

DETROIT - The South American firecracker, Shakira, had just finished performing at The Carburetor Coliseum in Motown when she received a phone call.

The call was from her attorney Dardanelle Cyrus Blewpillski of New York City. Shakira, 35, was informed that Blewpillski had just received the paperwork from the attorney of her ex-boyfriend Argentine native Antonio de la Rua who was suing her for $250 million.

Blewpillski told the belly dancer whose Colombian hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour that de la Rua, who had an intimate relationship with Shakira for 11 years, is claiming that he is the one who taught her the patented Shakira Hip Wiggle and body shaking that has propelled her to stardom.

De la Rua is also contending that Shakira can speak perfect English, (without an accent) but that he convinced her to keep the accent as it would help to endear her to the American audience just like Charo, Fernando Lamas, Ricardo Montalban, Desi Arnaz, and Kirstie Alley's accents had done.

SIDENOTE: The word on the streets of Shakira's native Colombia is that de la Rua is just jealous that Shakira's new boyfriend FC Barcelona soccer player Gerard Piqué, 25, is now the guy doing the Hokey Pokey with the sultry belly dancing beauty.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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