HOLLYWOOD - Pipe Dream Films in association with La Hacienda Pictures has just informed the entertainment media that Clint Eastwood has just been signed to direct a motion picture starring seven-year-old Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson.
The movie is based on the adventures and misadventures of the little beauty pageant participant who is the daughter of June "Mama" Shannon and Mike "Sugar Bear" Thompson.
The title of the film is A Fistful of Tiaras and it deals with the day-to-day exploits of a mother who wants her daughter to grow up to be the next Jessica Simpson.
One scene in the film will show 307-pound "Mama" Shannon taking a box of Hostess Twinkies away from Honey Boo Boo and screaming at her, "Stop eating those friggin things Honey Boo Boo do you want to end up looking like David Crosby?"
The little pageant queen replies "But mama, David Crosby is a man and I'm a little girl."
Her mom giggles, rubs her nose, and replies, "Okay, sweet tart, do you want to grow up to look like Gabourey Sidibe?"
Honey Boo Boo gets a puzzled look on her face and says, "But mama, Gabourey Sidibe is a..."
"Don't say it child. Don't you dare say it, ya hear?"
Clint Eastwood was asked to comment on the movie and he replied that he will be adding a scene in the movie in which Honey Boo Boo's daddy, Sugar Bear gets so fed up with his girlfriend "Mama" Shannon's whining voice that he goes outside and talks to an empty wicker chair.
SIDENOTE: Eastwood noted that in order to get a more accurate affect of the overall situation, the movie is being filmed in Smell-O-Vision.