Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Tom Brady

Monday, 10 September 2012

Not since Pinocchio had a big problem with his proboscis has there been such brouhaha over a QB's new rating: his nose for news.

Tom Brady himself has no idea if his nose is broken, but he is wearing a hefty-sized bandaid over the bridge where blood was seen trickling.

Bill Belichick, never one to give in to hyperbole, said that Tom's nose is "all right."

Whether this will put a damper on his modeling career, only time will tell.

This could be a bridge year for his telegenic looks. At 35 a disjointed nose could prove to be a pug impediment to cuteness.

Having taken a kneecap to the cartilage of his nose, Brady at first seemed to have trouble seeing beyond the misshapen appendage. He followed his nose to the sidelines.

A few fans could test the relative severity of Tom's injury by seeing if his nose was moist. He appeared to have no deviations in his septum in post-game interviews.

As usual, Tom did not smell as a QB, and we seriously believe he will not smell next week when he plays.

Any nasal flaring may be considered typical behavior of the Alpha Dog in a state of agitation. No rhinoplasty is foreseen as a result of rhinotilexomania.

Whether there will be enough swelling to make him look like Leslie Nielsen in Airplane, or even Jimmy Durante in anything, media watchers have staked out a spot to observe any nasal deformities.

Right now the worst-case scenario is that Tom Brady could turn into Marlon Brando. If he continues to win by a nose, the Patriot Nation will toot its horn.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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