Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 8 September 2012

image for Captain Kirk 'smoked weed with Kim Gul Dukat Cardassian' in banned Star Trek episode
From the cutting room floor

Los Angeles - "It was an episode about the Federation's launch of the 'Meet The Cardassians' holodeck program," the head of Star Trek archives said today.

"The studio canned it when a props tragedy saw real weed being smoked by Kirk and the floozie.

"Man, they really blew the prime directive to boldly blow where no man's blown before, heheh."

Footage of the offending psychotic episode was somehow salvaged from the cutting room floor before suddenly surfacing decades later on the YouBoob! channel this weekend.

It's full of stoner parallel universe stuff as Kirk attempts a 'Keeping It Up With The Cardassians' maneuver with the pneumatic alien love interest flailing around like a lactating Klingon wet nurse.

He then finds out she's actually a Federation Admiral - a legendary Cardassian diva known as Kim, daughter of Legate-warrior Gul Dukat.

So he quickly ejects her via a worm hole portal before resuming his quasi homophobic relationship with Mr Spock.

"Whole idea is preposterous," an LA casting couch source commented,
"Kirk would have been repelled by those grey facials scales."

Quite.

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