Written by BrunetteGirl xxx
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 7 September 2012

image for Julie Goodyear shocking disability revealed
Julie Goodyear 'Don't Talk SHITE' !!!!

Julie Goodyear former soap icon of Coronation Street Bet Lynch, who has recently completed a three week stint in Celebrity Big Brother, has now confirmed the disability that she was said to be suffering with in the house. It has been reported to have been a chronic case of foot in mouth disease. It is been understood that Julie was suffering rather painfully at her irritable urge to shout out mean obscenities at her housemates time and time again and her psychologist told her the only way to control it was to chomp bubble gum.

Julie explained to our spoof news reporter after her eviction, 'oh it were bloomin terrible, trying to control the urge to not be an acid tongued two faced trollop and I'd say looking back on me time in there I did pretty fucking well considering I could have done a lot worse'.

She also went on to say 'I can't help the fact I'm a 70 year old disabled pensioner with an overwhelming urge to insult people but I had to resort to doing it behind people's backs whilst I was in there cause if I'd have let my tongue run away with me I'd have told Coleen she had a fat ass to her face and that wouldn't have been fucking pretty'.

Julie posed for our reporters in her leopard skin jumpsuit as she ferociously chomped her gum around her mouth like a horse and it was clear that she clearly was not exaggerating her disability. She seemed to be in a lot of pain as flashbulbs went off in her face and reporters shouted out 'Julie what do you think of your fellow housemates' as her mouth started curling as she resisted the urge to say 'they must have all been mean bastards in their previous lives'.

When asked on why she had the problem with Coleen Nolan more than the other housemates she said 'Coleen provoked my disability the most and I knew if I had really opened me big gob and put my foot in it, she would have likely put her big foot in me mouth and I would not have been able to fuckin get it back out me throat'.

When our reporter mentioned how Julian Clary and she seemed to strike up a bond, Julie put her hand up and said 'Julian already knew I had a disability before I went in the house cause between you and me he has to see the same psychologist for slyness'. When we looked questionably at her she said 'we agreed to have each other's backs in there over our disabilities before we went in, it's great to be in showbiz' and she took a puff of her fag.

As we departed, we asked her if there was one last thing she wanted to say about her unique disability, a huge twitch appeared and she grabbed our reporter by his cheeks and shouted out 'I've got foot in mouth disease, don't talk SHITE! Get it, got it good now LEAVE IT!' and with that she waltzed off to her taxi muttering under her breath that 'no one is allowed to have me lighter LOVE YOU LOTS!'

Make BrunetteGirl xxx's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 1?

9 5 6 1
85 readers are online right now!

Go to top