Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 6 September 2012

image for Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry Console Each Other
Rob gave Katy a puppy which she named "Harpo." (Photo courtesy of Cesar Millan).

LOS ANGELES - Katy Perry and Rob Pattinson both know how horrible the ending of a Tinsel Town relationship can be.

Both celebrities have riches, fame, material things, and the adulation of millions of their fans but both are as they say in Paramus, down in the dumps.

Katy, 27, was hit with a divorce bombshell last December 30, by her then husband Russell "Sniffles" Brand who allegedly accused Katy of repeatedly burning his breakfast crumpets.

Perry then entered into a whirlwind relationship with John "The Player" Mayer.

She soon ended up getting dumped by the notorious love 'em and leave 'em jerk while the two were eating pink cotton candy on the Santa Monica Pier.

Meanwhile the twenty-six-year-old RPattz, after a three-year-relationship with his Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart, found out that K-Stew had an affair behind his back.

It was soon learned that it was with her accent coach from the movie Snow White and The Huntsman, Rayburn Fandersketti, who is 41, and speaks with a very strong accent.

According to a very close friend of Katy Perry's, Begonia "Shot Glass" Fixenthal, Katy is so devastated that she is seriously thinking about moving down to Ensenada, Mexico, and taking a break from dating for one year.

Her BFF, Robby, as Anderson Cooper calls him, has been there for her providing his shoulder, his soothing words, and a new puppy which Katy named Harpo after Oprah Winfrey.

Katy meanwhile has helped to console Rob and she thinks the world of him. She has confessed to her close friend Begonia that if she decides not to stick to her one year sabbatical on dating that she will certainly look to Rob as a possible boyfriend and maybe even fiancé.

SIDENOTE: Pattinson reportedly told Tittle Tattle Tonight's Kiowa Kettle, that as far as he is concerned Katy is 2.3 times prettier than Kristen, 2.7 times nicer, and 3.1 times sexier.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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