Written by Derrick Naylor-Made
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Monday, 3 September 2012

image for 'Best boyfriend ever' to leave half-eaten sandwich for girlfriend
"I had better post a picture of this to facebook so everyone will know!"

In what may be the most thoughtful gesture of their 3-year relationship, Jake Harrington plans to leave his girlfriend Mary Rockmore a half-eaten bologna sandwich.

Harrington said the thoughtful act, which occurs after the two had a long argument the previous night, is sure to keep him in good standings for at least another three days.

"It's quite simple really," Harrington said. "Everytime I screw up really bad, cheat on her or steal money from her, I leave her some meaningless gift. Then, by comparison to my previous actions, I seem like the best boyfriend ever!"

Harrington's actions are not uncommon. Just yesterday local resident James Norway said he was able to regain his wife's love with a candy bar and an expired McDonald's coupon.

"Why waste time trying to treat her good and stuff when I can just screw up, spend three bucks and be out of the doghouse?" Norway said.

Upon seeing the sandwich sitting on her pillow, Mary Rockmore said she couldn't contain her excitement at her boyfriend's obvious attempt to change his ways.

"Oh my God! He is the best boyfriend ever!" She said. "I had better post a picture of this to facebook so everyone will know!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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