Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Rihanna

Monday, 3 September 2012

Rihanna was sensationally booted out of a nightclub in the early hours of yesterday morning. Well not quite, but witnesses say she was "pissed and acting like a slapper". Things got even more "Disturbia" as she began acting like "She was the only girl in the world" and got on a table to dance. Unfortunately the table collapsed under the weight of her ego, sending bottles and glasses everywhere.

Bouncers moved in for a grope under the pretences of throwing the rowdy bitch out. In a blind panic that she wouldn't be allowed any more booze she began shouting "Do you know who I am?". The bouncers didn't appear to give a fuck that they were removing a superstar who has more Twitter followers than most men's sperm counts. It was only when the arse licking management appeared and got them to allow her back in, that the situation was resolved.

Back and to the Left news then watched the strangest set of events unfold. Rihanna was given a new (studier) table and free drinks as way of an apology. That is simply the best way to deal with a borderline alcoholic; give them more alcohol. Back and to the Left news believe it worked quite well with George Best, didn't it?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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