Written by Ossurworld
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Sunday, 2 September 2012

Josh McDaniels is the new Magic Mike of the Patriots.

After trying to assemble a quality line of Chippendale dancers as his starters in Denver a few years ago, Josh McDaniels is now proving he was years ahead of his time.

Tim Tebow time meant the spotlight was on the dancing quarterback, and now Josh McDaniels is recreating his finest moments with the new Patriots show.

Taking a page out of the biography of Channing Tatum, Josh is now attempting to recreate a Patriots offense that makes Magic Mike's strip show look like the Arthur Murray Dance School.

Deion Branch and Jabbar Gaffney were top of the line kickers on the runway a few years back, but as the Florenz Ziegfeld of the New England team, McDaniels is moving toward younger meat. Branch, Gaffney and Stallworth may have to start their own Follies Bergere Cabaret in Paris.

Tom Brady, chief-looker and choreographer of the Patriot lineup, may be getting long in the tooth for a weekly show with his scoring Rockettes, but Brady is still a fan favorite even though he has played with the Patriots since burlesque was in flower.

Brady has become McDaniels' Gypsy Rose Lee and still can sing "Let Me Entertain You," in duets with Wes Welker.

If the boys have been forced to get hair transplants, it is Josh McDaniels' constant search for youth. Just this week he brought in 24-year-old Greg Salas to make Welker kick his legs a little higher next time he runs the gridiron.

Word on the field is that Josh wants new rip-away jerseys for his wide receivers, showcasing the six-packs of Brandon Lloyd and Julian Edelman.

Rob Gronkowski may steal the entire show. He has expressed a desire to appear on Dancing with the Stars, and he has already done his nude centerfold. He fits right into the new McDaniels offense.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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