Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 2 September 2012

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Lady Gaga loves quesadillas and can single-handedly eat three orders all by herself. (Photo courtesy of Gov. Chris Christie).

NEW YORK CITY - When Lady Gaga sings her hit song "Born This Way" she is certainly not referring to her very obvious 11-pound weight gain which has just occurred in the past month or so.

A close inside source revealed that the 26-year-old singer has been having a very hard time saying no to food, midnight snacks, and 2 a.m. treats lately.

Coupled with the fact that her doctor suspects that she could possibly have a tape worm and she has recently gotten back with her boyfriend Taylor "Goo-Goo" Kinney Gaga has become a proponent of calories.

Recently when she was linked with Kate "The Great" Gosselin's ex-husband Jon Gosselin, Gaga became so depressed that she started eating bags of pretzels at all hours of the day.

In fact, her pedicurist Teddy Fintarelli, said that the employees at his salon Teddy's Toesies Spa, have begun referring to Lady Gaga as "Pretzel Woman."

Teddy noted that he has noticed that Lady Gaga has really put on the weight lately and he remarked that her two big toes have just about doubled in size.

He went on to state that the doubling in size of the fat toes is very rare even in the cases of heavyweights like Kirstie Alley, Governor Chris Christie, Conchata Ferrell, and Kevin James.

SIDENOTE: Lady Gaga only stands 5-feet-1-inch tall so when she gains 11 pounds it is kinda like 5-foot-10-inch Khloe Kardashian gaining about 2.5 pounds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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