Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 1 September 2012

image for "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" Beats Out The Republican National Convention
The Thompson family's dairy cow "Mrs. Got Milk." (Photo by "Chickadee" Shannon).

LOS ANGELES - The TLC Network is as happy as a ostrich in soft dirt after their hit reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo beat out every one of the four major networks plus CNN which was showing the Republican National Convention.

The reality show which revolves around Toddlers and Tiara's beauty queen Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson, 6, deals with the everyday goings on of Thompson's redneck family who do and say whatever the hell they want.

The McIntyre, Georgia family is the epitome of dysfunctional as evidenced by the fact that instead of your normal indoor pets such as dogs, cats, and hamsters, the family instead has pigs, fighting roosters, and a diary cow.

The matriarch named June "Mama" Shannon is a happy Southern gal who weighs 307 pounds. She has a mouth on her like an Oregon lumberjack.

"Mama" Shannon is not shy about using the F word, the C word, the B word, or even the P word.

And her live-in partner and Honey Boo Boo's daddy, Mike "Sugar Bear" Thompson, 40, is missing about six or seven crayons from his box of Crayolas.

"Sugar Bear" is not very bright as evidenced by the fact that he needed instructions from 12-year-old daughter Lauryn "Pumpkin" on how to draw a stick man.

The show is becoming very popular because when people view it, it makes whatever problems they may have seem like absolutely nothing by comparison.

SIDENOTE: Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is the favorite show of Gary Busey, Loretta Lynn, Rush Limbaugh, Whoopi Goldberg, and Mrs. Paul Ryan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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