Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 31 August 2012

image for Clint Eastwood's GOP Convention Speech Helped President Obama
President Obama on the phone with V.P. Biden laughing about Clint Eastwood's GOP Convention speech.

TAMPA - Clint Eastwood showed everyone at the Republican National Convention and millions of television viewers that he may be a legendary Hollywood icon, but he sure ain't no political speaker.

The man who starred in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly clearly showed that he was playing the "Bad" part, or as Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magazine commented the "Sad" part.

Petaluma remarked that it is a damn good thing that Eastwood has retired from starring in movies because if he hadn't his rambunctious rambling and at times incoherent speech would have certainly killed his career.

Mitt Romney reportedly asked his campaign spokesperson Cooter "Bubba" Ficklefarker whose frickin idea was it to have the 82-year old cowboy appear at his convention and make a speech.

He was told by Paul Ryan's chief aide Woody "Mozzarella" Swizkinbrick that it was Ryan's idea.

Romney exploded and asked if it was too late to drop Ryan as his vice-presidential running mate and replace him with Florida Senator Marco Rubio who gave a crowd-pleasing speech.

Petaluma said that after Eastwood finished talking he asked 100 GOP delegates what they thought about Clint's speech.

Three said they liked it. One said she missed it because she had to go to the ladies room and there was one heck of a line. And 96 stated that Eastwood's "Space Cadet" speech only served to help President Obama.

Even noted Republican maven Ann "Trigger" Coulter quipped that Eastwood's inarticulate verbal spewings made Gary "The Flake" Busey seem like a Harvard graduate.

Coulter added that she finally found someone who has worse looking hair than Donald "The Hairdo From Hell" Trump.

And the undisputed Queen of Mean, Joan "The Moan" Rivers said that it looked like "Dirty Harry" had combed his hair with firecrackers.

SIDENOTE: Vice-President Joe Biden reportedly called up President Obama after Eastwood's speech and said that he would like to invite Rowdy Yates (Eastwood) to a White House Backyard Barbecue in appreciation of his giving the president's presidential campaign one hell of a boost.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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