Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 28 August 2012

image for Lindsay Lohan Fears She's Starting To Look Like Jessica Simpson
Lohan says that due to her weight gain she is starting to resemble Jessica Simpson.

VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan actually went a week without having an automobile accident. The much troubled starlet says that she is trying to keep away from some of her friends who are a bad influence on her.

Lohan mentioned Paris Hilton, Chelsea Handler, and Taylor Momsen. She said that she is proud of the fact that she has pretty much managed to stay away from beer, bourbon, tequila, and vodka.

She smiled as she said that she really and truly misses her favorite drink, an avocado Margarita.

LiLo stated that things are going well except for the fact that in the past month her weight has gone from 113 to 133.

She confessed that she is afraid that she is starting to look like Jessica Simpson, who has not lost much weight since giving birth to her 9 pound 13 ounce baby Maxwell House Drew Simpson-Johnson.

Lohan remarked that when she gains weight it is on her face and on her thighs unlike the Kardashian sisters, Nicki Minaj, and J.Lo who put on the weight on their caboose.

A Friendly Reminder. August 31, is National Hurricane Day except in the states of Florida, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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