Written by seamushan
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Topics: Kristen Stewart

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Kristen Stewart has issued a strongly worded statement through her Attorney denying she had an affair with director Rupert Sanders. The 22 year old released a statment to online newspaper The Spoof "whilst I did touch this mans penis, I touched it with nothing but the best of intentions, and not to have an affair, as has been alleged in some quaters"

The actress continued,"everything I have ever done has been with Robert[pattison]and I's best interests at heart. So when I performed oral on Rupert I ensured that he did not become too aroused due to a soiled pair of knickers I had closely at hand. Rest assured I would not have hesitated to use the soiled knickers as a weapon."

"this is one of many action that serves to illustrate my dedication to my fiancé Robert. Not only this, but when Rupert was going at me like jack hammer from behind I took out a picture of Robert from my purse and held it tightly!

"I strongly refute any allegations of any impropriety on my part."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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