Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 25 August 2012

image for Randy Travis - Country Music's Drinking Poster Boy
Sad to say that it looks like Randy has put down his guitar and picked up the bottle.

PLANO, Texas - Well it sure does appear that country crooner Randy Travis is still heading down that old country back road to self-destruction.

The booze hound has been reported drinking up a storm and actually making the likes of George Jones and Hank Williams Jr. seem like little, old teetotalers by comparison.

An unidentified inside source who has known Randy since he was knee high to a bullfrog says that if Randy the "Dandy" keeps on drinking like he is he will end up just like his fellow country music singer Elroy "Whiskey Britches" Fitchfeather.

Old "Whiskey Britches" got to drinking so damn much that he lost half of his mind and he started dressing up and acting like the late Grand Old Opry comedian Minnie Pearl.

It wasn't long after that, that Fitchfeather went and got himself kidnapped by the notorious Cajun cousins Pavlov and Pritchett Pugglesniff who took him and traded him to a Creole voodoo witch doctor for two bottles of 180 Proof Bayou Brewed Bourbon.

The word from the Land of the Bayous is that no one ever saw or heard from old "Whiskey Britches" again.

If you would like to see about half a dozen mugshots of Randy Travis go to www.randytravisblewit.sux

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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