Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 22 August 2012

image for Kirstie Alley Gives Maksim Chmerkovskiy A Stern Warning
Kirstie confided to Fajita San Guacamole that she eats 5 Big Macs a day. (Photo courtesy of John Goodman).

HOLLYWOOD - Season 15 of Dancing With The Stars: The All-Stars kicks off on September 24, and some of the celebrities are already making themselves heard.

Kirstie Alley, who appeared on season 12, and was paired with "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" Maksim Chmerkovskiy recently sat down with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo at The Enchanted Enchilada Restaurant in Avocado Heights.

Alley talked about how she had lost 100 pounds during season 12 of Dancing With The Stars.

She also mentioned that within six short months after the shows finale she had gained it all back and then some.

Miss San Guacamole asked her why. Alley grinned and said that the answer was very simple, she just found that she was putting way too much food in her mouth.

She revealed that some days she was ingesting up to 18,000 calories within a 24 hour period.

Kirstie confessed that she became semi-addicted to Fried Oreo Cookies and Big Mac Burgers.

San Guacamole asked her what she thought about what Olympic gold medalist Hope Solo, who was Mak's partner this past season, had said about him.

Kirstie rolled her eyes and said that it is no secret that the Ukrainian dancer has one of the hottest tempers in all of LaLaLand.

Maksim himself has admitted that he has no patience with women when it comes to instructing them on how to dance.

He has even confided to fellow DWTS dancers Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough and Mark "The Lark" Ballas that at times he feels as if he is Chris Brown, except taller, lighter skinned, and three times sexier.

Alley said that she feels that Hope is correct in what she has said and added that she has already let Maksim know that if he dares to bite her toes like he bit Hope's toes she will rear back and give him such a tremendous kick in his crotch that his grandmother Klementina Kapitolina back in the Ukraine will feel it.

SIDENOTE: Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli, one of the Dancing With The Stars judges, has told Fajita San Guacamole that he is 100 percent on Maksim's side and it is not just because during the season Maks flirts with him a lot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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