Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 22 August 2012

image for John Mayer Lusting For Rihanna
Alcatraz Prison was shut down in 1963, due to a problem with vampire bats.

SAN FRANCISCO - Singer John Mayer was recently in San Francisco taking a tour of Alcatraz Prison. He related to Tittle Tattle Tonight that he has always been fascinated by the old prison which shut down in 1963, due to an infestation of vampire bats.

John was asked by 3T's Tapioca Swizzle about his recent dates with Katy Perry. He hesitated answering at first, but then revealed that he was just dating her to help him get over the hurt he was feeling at Taylor Swift having written a song about him that was very negative and which hit him below-the-belt.

He disclosed that Katy only went out with him to help her get over her divorce from Rusty (Russell Brand).

Perry revealed that she started thinking about Russell when he got dumped by his girlfriend Kate Gosselin after she found out that he had been seen up by the Hollywood sign canoodling and stuff with the highly tattooed Kat Von D.

Mayer told Miss Swizzle that his real love interest lies with the lusciously sexy Barbadian beauty Rihanna. He said that he basically fell in love with her when he saw her on the Oprah Winfrey Special.

He confessed that his goal for 2012, is to make the "Umbrella" singer his girlfriend before Thanksgiving Day.

Mayer "The Player" as he is known by lots of women, says that he knows it won't be easy, but he has lots of confidence and he knows that Rihanna basically has low self-esteem since after getting beat up badly by ex-boyfriend Chris Brown she still says she loves him.

John said that hearing her say that only encouraged him that much more and he now knows that the Caribbean singer will soon find herself in his arms uttering words of romance in his ear.

In Other News. Katie Couric, who is known as "Cougar" Couric has stated that the rumor that she has a tattoo with Charlie Sheen's name on her body is absolutely false. She pointed out that she can't stand cigars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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