Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 21 August 2012

image for Lindsay Lohan Wins $75,000 On Celebrity Jeopardy
A photo of the $75,000 that Lindsay won on Celebrity Jeopardy. (Photo courtesy of Alex Trebek).

CULVER CITY, California - Lindsay Lohan is most definitely one very lucky young lady. She has recently been involved in two automobile accidents where she ran into the back of an 18-wheeler loaded with Russian Roulette Vodka and then into the back of a late model Ford Mustang.

Lohan denies in both instances that she was texting as many in the entertainment media believe.

She recently completed filming on the movie Liz and Dick where she stars as Elizabeth Taylor. Bedroom Pillow Talk reported that the film's make up artist, Mr. Tabby of Topanga Canyon, had quite a time trying to cover up Lindsay's hundreds of freckles.

At the insistence of her publicist, LiLo has been trying her best to keep a low profile and has not been seen about town carousing and carrying on while under the influence of alcoholic beverages, illegal substances, or Fried Twinkies.

When she was asked to appear on Celebrity Jeopardy she jumped at the chance to meet one of her all-time idols, Alex Trebek.

Lindsay recently confided to her good friend Charlie Sheen that if Trebek was not married she would consider asking him to marry her. Lohan is 26, Trebek is 72.

LiLo appeared on Celebrity Jeopardy competing against fellow celebrities Bristol "The Pistol" Palin and Paula "Touchdown" Abdul. When the final bell sounded Palin had $25, Abdul had $35, and Lohan had $75,000.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Lindsay stated backstage that she will use $40,000 to go toward the attorney's fees for her two recent accidents and the other $35,000 she will donate to the Vice-President Joe Biden Vice-Presidential Re-Election Campaign Fund.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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