Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 20 August 2012

image for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: "No Presents Please"
Angelina says that after living with Brad for 7 years she feels it is time to get married and make it legal.

NEW YORK CITY - After seven years of living together without the benefit of a marriage license Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have finally decided to make their relationship legal.

The couple stated that the reason why they decided to become husband and wife is so that their half dozen kids stop asking them why they aren't married like all of their friends parents are.

Brad said that the final straw came several weeks ago when 6-year-old Shiloh Diamond said that when she/he grows up she/he wants to be just like mommy and daddy and not have a husband or wife.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Shiloh, who is a biological girl, dresses as a boy and hates girl things such as dresses, skirts, cosmetics, and soap operas.]

Angelina has tried everything she knows to try and get Shiloh to stop dressing and acting like a boy and dress and act like a girl, but nothing has worked.

She pointed out that offering her $2,000 did not help, nor did telling her that if she acts her gender, daddy (Brad) and her will buy her that pet baby giraffe she has been wanting since she was four.

Meanwhile, Jolie and Pitt are busy planning their upcoming wedding. Jolie says that it will be quite the celebration and they will have two bands providing the music at the wedding reception.

She picked out her favorite band the legendary Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young and Brad picked out his favorite band Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz.

They plan on inviting over 1,700 guests including President and Mrs. Obama, Vice-President and Mrs. Biden, Oprah Winfrey, David Letterman, Shakira, Mr. and Mrs. Manu Ginobili, and Kate Gosselin.

The couple has also made it very clear that they do not want any wedding presents since he is worth $180 million and she is worth $120 million and they can buy whatever the heck they want.

In Political News. GOP mouthpiece Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter has told GOPicky Magazine that perhaps it would be a good idea for Mitt Romney to cut off all of his hair so that people stop focusing on his hairdo and start talking about his political ideas and agenda.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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