Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 17 August 2012

image for Rihanna Says That Chris Brown Is Really A Nice Guy
Rihanna's pet cat which she named "Miss Chris" after her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown.

LOS ANGELES - Rihanna recently sat down with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk and made some startling comments.

The Barbados beauty who was assaulted by her then boyfriend Chris Brown in 2009, now says that it was really not Chris's fault.

She claims that he is really a nice guy who was just upset, frustrated, and depressed at the fact that a music critic had labeled him as a lower shelf version of Usher.

Rihanna pointed out that Browny, as she calls him, had to lash out at someone or something and she just happened to be handy at the time so he picked her to bear the brunt of his anger.

The "Umbrella" singer told Miss Chipotle that the emotional and mental hurt that Chris was feeling back then was much worse than the physical pain that she endured from his fists.

Of course, millions of women are extremely angry to hear Rihanna make that statement. Especially when so many of them felt that she should have had Brown tossed in jail for beating her up as if she was some kind of rag doll or piƱata.

When the ladies from The View heard Rihanna's comments they all collectively shook her heads. Whoopi Goldberg asked, "What da hell? Did Miss Rihanna bump her friggin head or what?"

Barbara Walters stated that Rihanna needs to get herself checked into The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic as soon as possible.

And the lily white, GOP mouthpiece Elisabeth Hasselbeck remarked that Rihanna needs to have her head examined because it appears that Mr. Brown has got her wrapped around his little, woman-beating finger.

Joy Behar said that if it had been her that the Brown beast had hurt, he would have ended up singing soprano in a trio with Clay Aiken and Lance Bass.

In Late Breaking News. Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona has just stated that she really wishes that Mitt Romney had picked a female running mate instead of picking Paul Ryan. She said she would have liked for "Old Mittens" to have picked either Sarah "Snowballs" Palin, Condoleezza "Minute" Rice, or Ann "Trigger" Coulter

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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