Written by K.C. Bell
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Wednesday, 21 June 2006

image for Brangelina To Adopt Jennifer Aniston

Learning that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were planning to adopt another child, Jennifer Aniston announced her availability. Since Ms. Aniston's film career consistently appears to collide with, and overshadowed by, Angelina's more provocative activities: Jennifer is the abandoned wife, but suddenly becomes the other woman when Angelina announces she is pregnant; Jennifer premieres a new film, The Break Up, but Angelina gives birth to a daughter in Namibia; Jennifer gets a new boy friend, but no one cares; hence Ms. Aniston has given up. If you can't beat them, join them. She's spreading word she is available for adoption; willing to be their fourth child and part of the family. Hooray for Hollywood.

There's almost a smoking gun similarity to the John Kerry and George Bush Presidential campaign. Whenever the Democratic Party announced that Kerry planned to give an important speech on television, there was a Office of Homeland Security alert, followed by the elevated color level, and the media would focus in on the threat, ignoring the Kerry speech and message. Suspicion was also elevated when head of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge, wasn't aware of any threat, and said as much. Didn't matter. Spin was in. Not that Angelina Jolie was intentionally using the Bush play book. Timing just seemed to be cooperating with her activities, and working against Jennifer Aniston.

Following the recently discovered al-Zarqawi computer, spin appears to still be in, alive and working well for George Bush. Al-Zarqawi's computer was found in the rubble of his flattened safe house. The safe house was reduced to gravel by two laser guided 500 pound bombs. Most computers crash with a sneeze, but al-Zarqawi's computer managed to survive the two 500 pound bombs. And, lived to talk about it:

"That George Bush is doing one heck of a job. Hope the cut and run Democrats win the mid-term election and vote to leave Iraq."

Hummmmm.

When asked about the authenticity of the information found on al-Zarqawi's computer, Al Gore replied that the American soldiers were indeed doing an excellent job, but added, the public was given misinformation about WMD, and the information from al-Zarqawi's computer remained suspect. Which makes one wonder how anyone as articulate, diplomatic, intelligent and slippery could come in second to that heck of a guy.

"Maybe I should be adopted by Tipper and Al?"

There's no business like show business.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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