Written by IainB
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Topics: London 2012, Songs

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

image for Duran Duran upset at not being included in the closing ceremony
Duran Duran are hungry like the wolf to get back into the charts

Popular notorious eighties beat combo, Duran Duran, have said that they are quite upset at not being included in the closing ceremony for the Olympics, with the whole of Planet Earth watching just before sunrise.

"Is there something I should know, as to why they didn't include us?" asked Simon Le Bon, lead singer of the band. "The next Olympics in in Rio, for Christ's sake. Let me think of a band who might have, I don't know, sung a song called Rio?"

The lack of inclusion has been put down to careless memories, and a bigger interest of getting girls on film, not men. The reflexive response from the Olympic committee is adamant the overlooking of the wild boys of New Romantic music was an oversight.

"I wanted to meet El Presidente of Brazil and talk about the skin trade there," said Le Bon, "Yes, I'd have sung Rio my own way, but after the violence of summer last year, this was a chance for our perfect day, to show the ordinary world Britain is past that."

With a view to a killing in the band comeback stakes, Duran Duran were hoping for a call that never came.

"I was out of mind with anger," said Nick Rhodes, keyboard player. "I felt like going to the stadium and burning the ground it stood on. I'm serious. My mind had come undone. Do you believe in shame? We do now. Or is that too much information?"

"I can't believe they picked somebody else, not me," said Le Bon. "I'm famous! We'll have to see what happens tomorrow. Just because we've been falling down the charts doesn't mean we've gone! Hopefully, Rio will give us a call for their opening ceremony. We'll save a prayer for that to happen. Our manager is dealing with it now. All she wants is for us to be famous again."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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