Written by The WB

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Topics: Musicals

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

As legendary theater and film composer Marvin Hamlisch is buried today in Manhattan, most Americans still feel nothing, local sources say.

"Nothing. I'm feeling nothing," said most Americans when asked Hamlisch's passing last week in Los Angeles at the age of 68,

When further told that Hamlisch won a Tony and Pulitzer as composer of the iconic Broadway musical A Chorus Line, in addition to three Academy Awards, four Emmys and four Grammys for his work in musical theater and film scoring, some Americans replied "I feel nothing, except the feeling that that bullshit is absurd."

The loss of Mr. Hamlisch, who in a 1983 interview with The New York Times said "You mustn't underestimate an audience's intelligence," resonated little with most Americans. Some Americans reponded "I love musicals! You know, when they're cartoons aimed toward children or in hour-long TV slots."

When acting teacher Mr. Karp of the High School of Performing Arts asked them to dig right down to the bottom of their souls, most Americans said they tried, and they tried, but they felt nothing.

"I suspected that if I'd asked them every day, for a week, they'll feel nothing," Mr. Karp said, sighing. His tone then suddenly became stern. "And nothing..." he continued, "can get a culture transferred."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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