Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 13 August 2012

image for Rihanna Getting Back With Chris Brown
Chris has stated that beer is the reason why he cannot control his temper.

CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee - Rihanna was in town visiting her Uncle Toby, who is an unemployed circus clown.

After visiting with him she spoke with Ling Chow Rangoon of iRumors at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner.

The "We Found Love" singer was asked if it was true that she had gone out with her former boyfriend Chris "The Firecracker" Brown.

She replied that it was a fact and that the two had attended a Selena Gomez concert at The Ooh La La Convention Center.

Rangoon asked her how in the world she could possibly even speak to someone who had literally beat the daylights out of her.

"Wiff my mouth" replied the Caribbean beauty.

"No, seriously?" Rangoon asked, "How the hell can a gorgeously sultry, independent woman such as yourself, or any woman for that matter, want to get back with a man, I mean person who basically treated you like a damn punching bag."

Rihanna became very angry and said that she (Rangoon) does not know Chris and she has no right to cut him down.

Ling Chow shook her head and said, "Girlfriend. Let me tell you something. If I had a boyfriend who had clobbered me and left me with a bloody nose, a swollen lip, facial bruises, plus cuts, scrapes, abrasions, wounds, contusions, and lacerations I would have taken a Louisville Slugger to his crotch region and turned the evil demon into a freakin soprano."

Rihanna got a puzzled look on her face and asked, "What da hell is a Louisville Slugger?"

In Olympic News. The McDonald's Corporation, who sponsored the Summer Olympics, has developed a new menu item, onion rings. They have named them The McOlymponion Rings.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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