Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 12 August 2012

image for The Kanye West - 50 Cent Feud Gets Nasty
50 Cent's pet cat which he named Kanyette. (Photo by Rush Limbaugh).

DETROIT - Hip hop artist 50 Cent, formerly 90 Cent before the recession hit, has lashed out yet again at fellow rapper Kanye West.

The "Half Dollar Dude" as Whoopi Goldberg calls him, recently talked with Afro Sheen Magazine's Yodelle Denzel St. Bling after he had performed at The Carburetor Coliseum in Motown.

The man who was born Curtis Jackson, no relation to Michael, Kate, Phil, Alan, or Stonewall, is no stranger to feuds.

He has had some highly documented verbal jousts with the likes of Oprah "Yo-Yo" Winfrey, Sean "Fred Flintstone" Hannity, and Joan "The Moan" Rivers.

50 Cent is perhaps best remembered for saying that if he had a choice of going to bed with Joan Rivers or an alligator he would pick the gator because the gator's teeth are not as sharp as Joan's dentures.

He has now turned his sights on Kanye West, or as Taylor Swift refers to him, Kanye "The Pest."

After the Detroit concert 50 Cent told ASM's St. Bling that he cannot believe that Kim Kardashian even bothered to give West a second look much less invite him into her most intimate abode.

He giggled and said that of course Kim is no prize herself. St. Bling asked why he felt that way.

"Well brutha, juss takes a look at da woman. I swear da broad got herself two butts. She makes J.Lo's caboose look like it's damn well not even there."

He then went on to say "Hell I 'spect dat da two highly spirited lovebirds be fixin' to esplode like dat Washington volcano Mount St. Helen Keller"

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm sure '50' meant to say Mount St. Helens].

When Kanye was told about 50 Cent's remarks you could hear his teeth grinding like a Black and Decker electric saw. He yelled out, "Ya know what dude? Dat low-life, bottom-feeding jive-ass punk ain't got the brains of Popsicle stick."

He went on to add that 50 Cent looks like Kunta Kinte without the iron shackles. He paused for a moment and added that "Half Dollar Boy" has about as much personality as a dust bunny.

SIDENOTE: St. Bling contacted Kim Kardashian to get her comment on the matter but all she would say was that she could not talk because she had just gotten some botox and her butt was hurting like a son-of-a-you-know-what.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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