Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 August 2012

image for Hank Williams Jr. Writes A Country Song About Randy Travis
Randy's pet cow Miss Dolly. (Photo from the Grand Ole Opry's Cow Pictures Collection).

NASHVILLE - Hank Williams Jr., is no stranger when it comes to the world of drinking. In fact, during his career he has been named Country Music's Drinkingest Singer four times by the highly respected Country Sounds Coalition Federation based in Toad Suck, Arkansas.

According to Buck Yazoo with Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine, Hank Jr., has written a total of 27 songs with the words beer, whiskey, drinkin', or firewater in the title.

He was the official spokesman for Bunkhouse Beer until he got fired in March after he made some rather unflattering remarks about Bunkhouse Beer CEO Hawthorn F. McButternutt's semi-pleasantly plump wife Ida Loretta McButternutt, 56.

Hank Jr., says that he just has the type of personality that lends itself to having people take pot shots at him on a pretty consistent basis, but he adds that it all just rolls off of him like water off a duck's back.

Williams expressed concern at the recent arrest of his good ol' friend Randy Travis. He said that when he heard that "Country Gumby," as he refers to him, had been found on the side of a farm road in Texas, drunk as a skunk and naked as a jaybird he had to do something.

And so he grabbed his "geetar" (guitar) and wrote down a song. He titled it "Hey Cowboy, Wake Up And Smell Da Damn Biscuits and Gravy Before Ya Check Out Way Before Checking Out Time Partner."

Hank Jr., says that he hopes the song will touch a nerve with Travis and he will realize that the world does not revolve around a can of Lone Star Beer or a bottle of Johnny Walker Red.

In Olympic News. The rumor that French basketball team player Tony Parker has become engaged to a notorious London stripper named Jenny "Feather Boa" Ballyhickler is false. Parker says that the rumor was probably started by either Kobe Bryant or LeBron James.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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