Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 14 August 2012

image for Rob Pattinson and Selena Gomez To Star In The Zombie Thriller "Call Me Maybe"
A photo of the toxic waste landfill where the film's zombie's live. (Photo by Rob Pattinson).

HOLLYWOOD - Rob Pattinson recently told a reporter with Bedroom Pillow Talk that he has just signed on to star in Tico Scallavini's zombie epic Call Me Maybe.

Pattinson told BPT's Carolina Chipotle that he has to do something to take his mind off of the hurt he is feeling over Kristen (Stewart) having cheated on him with Rayburn Fandersketti, a lowly accent coach.

R-Pattz caught himself and said that he did not mean to imply that Fandersketti was a lowly person, only that he acted like a damn, lousy lowly person and so did the woman that he once truly believed had hung the moon, the Milky Way, and the most expensive painting in the Louvre Museum in Paris.

The 26-year-old Pattinson says that he is really looking forward to getting to work with the extremely talented and fantastically sexy-looking Selena Gomez who just turned 20, on July 22.

Rob said that the movie is being produced by Lion's Door Films in association with Cloud 13 Productions. He told Miss Chipotle that he will be portraying Gunther "Gunny" McDundee, who owns his own chemical spill collection agency called Gunk Is Us.

McDundee meets Selena Gomez who stars as Sadie "Giggles" Dippenmyer, the semi-promiscuous daughter of a toxic waste landfill proprietor, while getting an estimate on dumping 3,000 gallons of the extremely toxic Carboshantizzy-6.

C-6 as it is called is an oil-based byproduct derived from the sweat of the Bamboochee Crickets which are indigenous to the Okefenokee Swamp in Florida.

Pattinson noted that in the film when his character Gunther first meets Selena's character Sadie, the two instantly feel romantic sparks for each other.

But since Sadie's father Hank "Snuff Dipper" Dippenmyer does not like chemical spill collection agents they have to hide their attraction for each other and upon first meeting, Gunther quietly tells Sadie to "call me maybe."

Sadie turns pink with anticipatory joy and responds by saying, "There ain't no maybe about it stud."

SIDENOTE. The movie will be filmed on location in Flagstaff, Arizona, which is home to one of the largest toxic waste landfills in the entire nation. Gary Busey will co-star as Hank Dippenmyer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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