Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 9 August 2012

image for Randy Travis - Arrested Again!
Randy got his first guitar at age of 3, a gift from his maternal grandmother Kyleen "Biscuits" Shigglefelt.

GRAYSON COUNTY, Texas - It appears that country singer Randy Travis not only sings down and out country music songs, but he is now actually starting to live them out.

The 53-year-old crooner has just been arrested for a second time this year.

A spokesperson for the Grayson County Sheriff's Department Elmer "Bubba" Quibbermix, 57, told reporters that Mr. Travis alleges he wrecked his 1998 Pontiac Trans Am when he swerved to avoid hitting a woodchuck that darted out in front of him.

He said that he noticed that the mama woodchuck was carrying seven baby woodchucks on her back. When he swerved he hit a pot hole, which caused his car to careen out of control, and hit some kind of big, old, damn tree.

Travis said that when his air bag deployed it caused him to be completely covered with sand; so much in fact that he truly believed he was sunbathing out on Padre Island.

Quibbermix said that the investigating officers were Monroe "Slim" Wattleseed and Archie "Bunker" Bunkervelli. Officer Wattleseed stated in his report that Travis reeked of alcohol and Cheetos.

He noted that he had a black eye, a cut nose, scratches on his forehead, he was missing lots of eyelashes, his left earlobe was bruised, and he said that Travis keep saying that his pecker was hurting.

As the singer was being placed in the squad car he threatened both officers with his guitar.

SIDENOTE. It appears that since he is already on probation Mr. Travis could possibly find himself performing lots of concerts in prison.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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