Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 8 August 2012

image for Tom Cruise and Eva Longoria Spotted At SalsaLand
Eva relaxing in the pool at J.Lo's Hollywood Hills mansion, Casa Booty. (Photo by Caspar Smart).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Tom Cruise appears to be feeling a little bit better about his divorce from Katie "The Kid" Holmes.

Cruise and the sultry Latina Eva Longoria were seen dancing and doing a bit of bumpin' and thumpin' at the SalsaLand Dance Hall.

Longoria was wearing a pair of Aphrodite Jeans that appeared to have been painted on. And her red halter top looked like it may have come out of a postage stamp machine.

The happy couple could be heard whispering words of romance throughout the evening. And at one point Tom reached over, gently grabbed Eva, and sat her down on his lap.

A patron stated that the couple then proceeded to canoodle and really got into some big time PDA. The patron who was later identified as Hollis Powderfinger of Toluca Lake said that it kind of looked like the two were celebrating a wedding engagement, a bar mitzvah, or a quinceanera.

Bedroom Pillow Talk had noted that a couple of days ago, Eva had been seen in the company of her ex-boyfriend Eduardo Cruz, brother of Penelope Cruz and the two were engaged in a game of touchy-touchy in the parking lot of a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Pomona.

Longoria has said that contrary to what the supermarket tabloids have written it was her who ended the relationship after Eduardo kept mentioning the "M" word.

Eva said that she is still not quite over the heartache of her divorce from San Antonio Spurs player Tony "The Sexter" Parker.

Corbett Huckinghouse, a spokesperson for Tom Cruise stated that in regard to Cruise's date with Ms. Longoria it was she who called up Tom and invited him to go to SalsaLand.

SIDENOTE. Eva's hair stylist FuFi Fondue has said that he knows Huckinghouse very well and he is lying through his teeth because Eva is an old-fashioned muchacha at heart and she would never ask a man out on a date.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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