Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 14 August 2012

image for Barbara Walter's Bans Roseanne Barr From "The View"
Roseanne grows macadamia nuts in Hawaii. (EDITOR'S. NOTE: Sorry, I could not find a photo of macadamia nuts).

LOS ANGELES - Comedian Roseanne Barr is running for president of the United States on The Peace and Freedom Party ticket.

Barr, who lives in Hawaii and grows macadamia nuts for a living told Hacienda Dakota of Hollywood Vis-á-Vis that she was not thrilled with President Obama.

She then quickly pointed out that she would definitely not vote for Mitt "Flip Flop" Romney if he was running against Paris "Fruity" Hilton, Lindsay "Flakey" Lohan, or that other Tinsel Town freak Andy "Nuts" Dick.

The plumpish comedian said that she is thrilled to be running for the highest office in the land. And speaking of high, Barr wanted to have Willie Nelson as her vice-presidential candidate, but Willie apparently turned it down saying that he was afraid all of the hand shaking and baby kissing would cut into his "smoking time."

Roseanne was to have appeared on The View, but the shows producer, host, and policy maker, Barbara Walters decided to cancel her appearance and has actually banned her from future appearances after learning that Barr had made fun of her very pronounced lisp.

Walters said that she can take a joke but not from a big, fat, filth-spewing, vulgarian like Roseanne "The Man."

When Barr heard BW's remark she said that "Lady Lisper" can kiss her unroyal macadamia growing butt six times and keep the change.

In Late Breaking Political News. A close aide to Mitt Romney is reporting that there was some concern in the Romney campaign camp when someone remarked that they noticed that Mitt has split ends.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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