Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 7 August 2012

image for President Obama and Mitt Romney Both Condemn Roaster Jeffrey Ross
President Obama talking on the phone with Mitt Romney regarding Jeffrey Ross's extremely insensitive remarks.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Well it took an unfunny comic to get President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney to finally agree on something.

And the source of their agreement is a little known comic who goes by the name of Jeffrey Ross.

Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors noted that Ross, who has an ego the size of China, has proclaimed himself to be the greatest roastmaster in the history of roasts; apparently the fella has never heard of Dean Martin.

Even well established comedians like Jay Leno, David Letterman, Joan Rivers, and Conan O'Brien have stated that Ross "The Moss," as Barbara Walters calls him, was way out of line with his coldhearted, callous remarks regarding the Batman shootings in Aurora, Colorado.

Ross, who resembles an old Yiddish onion with a humongous schnozzola attached to it, was attending a roast for comedian Roseanne Barr when he felt that he had to make his ignorant remark which no one in their right mind could possibly find even remotely funny.

The great stand up comedian Robin Williams stated that if Ross is that hard up for comedy material that he will personally sit down and write the vulgar punk a dozen or so jokes.

Jim Carrey, who said that Ross needs to apologize to the entire city of Aurora, added that he is not really surprised at Ross's atrociously sick remarks since Ross and fellow ostracized, evil-spirited roaster Gilbert Gottfried are rumored to be bosom buddies, or as they say in Milwaukee kissing komics.

Miss Rangoon pointed out that Ross has a history of making insenstive, foot-in-mouth jokes which he believes in his little, twisted, simple mind are somehow funny.

President Obama when told about Jeffrey's comments replied that he has never heard of Mr. Jeffrey Ross but knows that he does not like the hateful dude.

The president is so upset with Ross that he has directed Vice-President Joe Biden to check and see about having him deported back to Iraq, Iran, or wherever the hell this anti-American fruit cup came from.

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney phoned the president and asked that he get the Secret Service, the CIA, the U.S. Navy Seals, and the Internal Revenue Service to look into his background and see if there is anything there that could land this inhumane individual in jail.

Even the Queen of Mean Joan Rivers expressed outrage at Ross's highly offensive, and shameless remarks.

She suggested that Jeffy boy needs to get his mean-spirited butt waterboarded or at the very least he needs to get locked up in a 6-foot by 6-foot room and forced to listen to Madonna records for 48 hours straight.

In Other News. The Netherlands has stated that they are considering selling the secret recipe to their world famous Dutch Chocolate to Guatemala for $4.7 million.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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