Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can, including being eaten by Robin, the sidekick of Batman.
"It was a moment of predator versus prey," said Superman, who had seen the whole thing from a window ledge in Metropolis. "I couldn't believe what I was watching. Spidey was swinging from a web hammock when Robin swooped in and gulp, Spiderman was no more."
Robin didn't have it all his own way.
"I'm sad to report," said his lifelong friend, Batman, aka Secret Identity, "that Robin has been eaten by Catwoman."
Catwoman has been both the lover and nemesis of Batman, and now is the eater of his sidekick.
"I don't see how our relationship can recover from something like this," said Batman, whilst handing out nibbles at the officers mess.
Catwoman had barely finished digesting her avian snack when she in turn was eaten by Wolverine.
"I didn't know Wolverine would eat a woman like that in public," said Rex The Runt, who'd been watching. "A definite certificate eighteen moment."
Catwoman is said to be purring from her hospital bed, where surgeons attempt to correct the permanent smile from her face.
"It's a little bit sad about Wolverine," said Storm, his partner in many escapades, including the two televised ones. "To be eaten by some random bloke from Thailand? There's no justice in this world. He wasn't even a superhero, just a chef from Bangkok."