Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 5 August 2012

image for J. Lo Hints That Her "Boy-Toy" Could Be History
J.Lo says that she has signed on to be the spokeswoman for Lady Latina Lipstick. (Photo courtesy of Adam Lambert).

NEW YORK CITY - Jennifer Lopez has been known to ride on the emotional roller coaster a lot more times than she would prefer.

According to Taffeta Kixx with iRumors her up and down marriage to Marc Anthony eventually turned into one great big amusement park ride with each one accusing the other of everything from alienation of affections to habitual habeas extramarital frolicking.

Things became so hectic at times that J.Lo revealed that she did not know if she was out on the Left Coast, the Right Coast, or the Third Coast (Texas).

Miss Kixx asked Lopez if she felt bad about leaving American Idol. J.Lo raised her eyebrows and replied, "Hell yes I felt bad. I mean think about it girlfriend, I was making $20 million a year just to say things like, "Yeah, baby that sounded really fabulous," and "Sweety, that was totally fantastic," and "Hey [chula or chulo], that song gave me goosies."

But the Latina singer revealed that she just got fed up with having to listen to Randy "The Dawg" Jackson say to every single contestant, male and female, "Hey, yo, yo, yo, lissen up dawg. Ya know that was just alright."

She then emphasized that she also got tired of Steven "Lips" Tyler making his way out in the universe comments like, "Ya know, if the lyrics you just sang were particles of gold dust and you were driving a space ship bound for Saturn, you would be very lucky because you could trade the gold dust particles for American dollars and buy things like bottled water, guacamole dip, and ostrich ear finger sandwiches."

Lopez, 43, was then asked about the rumors that have been circulating from Beverly Hills to Brooklyn that there may be trouble in her relationship with her boy-toy Caspar Smart, 25.

J.Lo grinned as she drank an onion juice power drink and said that she realizes that many feel that the 18 year difference in their ages may seem like a lot but she smiles and says that it really isn't when you take into account that the Eiffel Tower is 123 years old.

Lopez recently confided to Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk that her and Caspy have an understanding. And it is pure and simple. When she says "Jump!" all he has to do is ask "How high?"

J.Lo said that it is not too much for her to ask considering that he has nothing and she is worth $250 million.

She then winked at Miss Chipotle and said that if he doesn't go along with that little request he could end up being history.

In A Non-Related Story. Sarah "Snowflake" Palin says that to show her support for Chick-Fil-A's CEO, her and Todd have agreed that whenever they are in the "Lower 48" the ONLY place they will eat at will be at a Chick-Fil-A.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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