Written by Zako Strle
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Friday, 3 August 2012

image for Alfred Hitchcock was a Creepy Old Man Claims Former Starlet
To this day, Hedren Retains Her Fondess of Birds.

Tippi Hedren, former starlet of the Alfred Hitchcock classic The Birds claims that Hitchcock was a creepy old man.

"He was constantly ogling at me and making wear low cut tops and he arranged the cameras so he could see my cleavage," claims Hedren.

"This makes no sense," said a film critic who asked to remain anonymous, "How could an old morbidly obese horror film auteur, who was obsessed with gore and murder and young platinum blond bombshells, possibly be considered creepy? Someone needs to explain this to me, because I just don't get it."

Another critic echoed this sentiment. "I have to question this woman's credibility. Afterall, Janet Leigh did 34 nude takes in the shower murder scene in the Hitchcock classic Psycho and we didn't hear her complaining about sexual harassment."

When Hedren wouldn't submit to Hitchcock's lecherous advances, she claims he forced her to work with live birds for five days for the film's attic scene. "Those birds pooped all over me!" exclaimed Hedren.

The film critics discounted such claims as poppycock. "It is well documented that when the film was over, Tippi Hedren was so enamored by birds that she gladly accepted a flock of parakeets as a gift from Hitchcock."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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