Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 31 July 2012

image for Bristol Palin and Pamela Anderson Are 2 of The 12 Celebrities Picked For Dancing With The Stars' The All-Stars
Pamela Anderson at 45, is the oldest contestant appearing on Dancing With The Stars, The All-Stars.

HOLLYWOOD - After months of speculating as to which celebrities would be appearing on Season 15 of Dancing With The Stars the wait is finally over.

DWTS Host Tom Bergeron announced that the suits (bosses) at ABC have picked 12 former contestants to return and compete in a Dancing With The Stars All-Stars Event.

Perhaps one of the biggest surprises has got to be Bristol "The Pistol" Palin who actually finished in third place along with her pro partner Mark "The Lark" Ballas.

Many critics and fans of DWTS realized that the reason why "The Pistol" managed to make it all the way to number three was due to the fact that her mommy, Sarah "The Moose Mama" Palin asked the members of her Tea Bag Party to vote for her little girl.

Anyone who saw Todd and Sarah's little girl dance knows that Bristol is about as graceful as a bucket of hot asphalt. She has all the rhythm of a Galapagos turtle and she holds the Dancing With The Stars record for being the only contestant to actually have gained weight during the show.

Pamela Anderson, who said that she has given up hardcore porn and is now only concentrating on softcore porn is the oldest contestant at 45.

Anderson has stated that she can still kick up her heels and expects to give the other 11 contestants a run for their money especially Emmitt Smith, Gilles Marini, Kirstie Alley, and Helio Castroneves.

Rounding out the cast of dancers is Apolo Ohno, Drew Lachey, Joey Fatone, Kelly Monaco, Melissa Rycroft, and Shawn Johnson.

SIDENOTE: Bergeron has stated that the British judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman appears to be even in a grouchier mood than he was last year. The DWTS host noted that Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli stated that it was because Len reportedly lost $95,000 betting on The Kentucky Derby.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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