Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 30 July 2012

image for Sarah Palin Eats At Chic-Fil-A
Sarah "Reindeer Hormones" Palin says that she loves visiting the "Lower 48." (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

HOUSTON - Sarah "The Loose Moose" showed up in the Lone Star state to campaign for Senator Teddy Cruz.

She was accompanied by her husband Todd the "Snowmobiler" and the two looked like typical tourists with Mama Palin wearing a pair of pink Remember The Alamo shorts and a San Antonio Spurs tank top and Todd wearing a pair of Wrangler Jeans with a Texas Oil Smells Like Money T-shirt.

The two decided to stop in at a local Chic-Fil-A to show their support for a fast food franchise whose president and owner has stated that his eatery does not recognize the rights of people of the same sex to marry.

The restaurant chain president Danny Caloric was asked by Savannah Bamboo with Political Salad Bar Magazine if he wasn't afraid of losing lots of customers for making such a politically charged statement.

Caloric took a bite out of his chicken breast and replied that he is not concerned one bit since the vast majority of gays and lesbians do not eat chicken anyway.

When asked what they eat, Caloric giggled and said that they eat tofu, quiche, sushi, and mutton finger sandwiches.

Sarah Palin was asked how she thought Mitt Romney was doing. She rolled her eyes and remarked that "Old Mittens" needs to stop putting his foot in his mouth and think about what he says before he says it.

She went on to say that saying that he does not care for crumpets, fish and chips, and tea offended 97 percent of all people residing in the United Kingdom.

"Snow Plow" as Nancy Pelosi calls her, then noted that Romney should not have remarked that if Queen Elizabeth were to sell off at least half of her 1,404 hats she could easily feed 4,000 Ethiopian families for seven months.

"Snowballs" Palin was asked if she enjoyed eating at Chick-Fil-A. She smiled and said that her and Toddy loved it and that it is a whole lot better than their favorite Wasilla chicken eatery, Nanookette's Cackling House of Hyper Hens.

A Friendly Reminder. August 4th is National Put A Smile On Some One's Face Day, even in Arizona.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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