Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 27 July 2012

image for K-Stew & R-Pattz Are Kaput!
R-Pattz has left K-Stew and has taken his pet salmon "Jaws III" with him. (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

LOS ANGELES - Kristen Stewart should get an Oscar nomination for her apology in regards to her indiscretion.

K-Stew, 22, really laid it on thick saying that she is so, so sorry and that she is embarrassed, ashamed, and feels like 15 cents.

She went on to say that she does not know what possessed her to betray the one man that she loves even more than herself, Rob Pattinson, her co-star in the three Twilight films as well as the co-star in her real life love life.

Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that R-Pattz, 26, has not only not accepted Kristen's Academy Award apology, he has moved out of their L.A. home and taken his baseball cap collection, his prized Bob Dylan autographed guitar, his clothes, shoes, toiletries, and his pet salmon "Jaws III."

Pattinson has refused any interviews and a close friend of his, identified as Larklin F. Pitkinpicker who lists a Hacienda Heights address, has stated that Rob will not be making any kind of comment, remark, statement, or tirade.

De Gallo did manage to reach Miss Stewart and he asked if she cared to comment on the fact that Rob has left her. She was weeping very bad and all she could manage to say was "IIIII jussss wannnna saaaay wahhhhhhh."

Kristen was so distraught that she did not even notice that she was only wearing one sneaker and she actually had her pink short shorts on backwards as well as inside out.

Pico de Gallo and 3T will stay with the K-Stew, R-Pattz kaput story and bring you any further developments as they develop further.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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