Written by IainB
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Thursday, 19 July 2012

image for Crowd surfing accident leaves fifteen injured at Meat Loaf concert
A crowd readies themselves to do some crowd surfing.

Crowd surfing is the act of a performer leaping from the stage into a crowd and being carried by a multitude of hands out into the crowd and back again. The origins of crowd surfing are lost in the annals of time, but many agree that the first performer to try it must have had a lot of faith, balls or drugs.

At a recent Meat Loaf concert in Chipping Norton, the rotund pop star attempted a crowd surfing act midway through his first set, while singing Paradise by the Dashboard Light that has a seven minute instrumental, leaving Meat Loaf with very little to do.

"It was more of a crowd tsunami," said one horrified onlooker in the aftermath.

According to eye witness reports, as Meat Loaf leaped from the stage the crowd surged away, leaving fifteen people directly in line with the tubby lard-arse. As Meat Loaf crashed down into them, they were crushed, suffering broken bones, severe bruising, one had a punctured lung and another went on to contract Weile's Disease. It is not known if that is connected.

Ambulances were called for the stricken Meat Loaf fans, with psychologists called to help them get over the trauma of having been at a Meat Loaf Concert. It was very quickly discovered that heavy winching equipment was also required.

"Meat Loaf was injured quite badly," said concert organiser, Pippa Humbolt-Penguin. "Meat Loaf had thrown himself off backwards, and it took three paramedics to pull one fan out. We're hoping that there are no more in there. We won't know until there's been some movement, if you know what I mean."

Meat Loaf is recovering in the vet's attached to the Chipping Norton Pet Cemetery where doctors are worried he might make a full recovery.

"It could have been much worse," said Humbolt-Penguin, "The other six people at the concert might not have been able to get out of the way and been injured too."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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