Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 18 July 2012

image for A Country Music Shocker
One of Willie Nelson's boots which is housed in The Country Music Bureau Museum located in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

NASHVILLE - The Country Music Bureau has issued a very stern directive to the entire country music industry.

The president of the CMB Blanchard "Buckaroo" Buxtonhouse has stated that recent consumer polls show that the sales of country music CDs have fallen by 7 percent from last year.

Buxtonhouse attributes this decline to the fact that many people are not purchasing country music due to the fact that a lot of the songs include such negative themes as drinkin', cheatin', and spittin'.

He noted that a recent survey showed that one in every three country songs mentions one or all of those words including some other words with negative connotations such as honky tonkin', cigarette smokin', and cussin'.

Buxtonhouse has met with representatives of country music's ten largest recording labels and he has issued a directive stating that effective August 1, 2012, country music songs will be limited to one and only one negative aspect per song.

He stressed that failure to comply with this new regulation will result in the music company being fined $50,000 for the first offense, $100,000 for the subsequent offense, and on a third offense the music company will be shut down.

Buxtonhouse pointed out that he is tired of receiving phone calls, emails, text messages, and letters from irate country music fans telling him that they are afraid that their beloved music is starting to mimic hip hop rap music.

In Military News From South America. The Venezuelan Air Force has developed a stealth blimp which the government believes is presently either flying over the Gulf of Mexico or the South Atlantic.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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