Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 18 July 2012

image for Angelina Jolie Disses Jennifer Aniston
Jolie insists that her jealousy of Jennifer Aniston does not stem from her being insecure.

NEW YORK CITY - The Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie brood of half a dozen youngsters were out picnicking in Central Park.

The couple had hired three off-duty members of the NYPD to provide security for the family.

No one was allowed to come within 37 feet of Brad, Angelina, and the six kids.

Ten-year-old Maddox Chivalrous wanted to go see the animals in the petting zoo. Eight-year-old Pax Lax did also, but the four-year-old twins Knox Kabob and Vivienne Sushi said that they were afraid that they would get bit by the hippo.

Six-year-old Shiloh Diamond, the little cross dressing girl, remarked that there was no hippo in the petting zoo and if there was she was sure that the zoo workers had removed its humongous teeth with pliers.

Brad emphasized that Shiloh was positively correct. And so all the kids including Zahara Desert, 7, went with their father while Jolie remained sunbathing on a lounge chair and reading a copy of Baby Bump Do's and Don't's by Nadya Suleman.

After they left Angelina was approached by Kiowa Kettle, a reporter with Tittle Tattle Tonight. The police officers asked her to keep away from Miss Jolie, but Angie recognized her and told them that it was okay and she wanted to talk to her.

Miss Kettle thanked Jolie. Angelina then told her that she wanted for her to state on her entertainment news program that she wants Jennifer Aniston to stop thinking that her and Brad are going to be getting back together.

Angie pointed out that Jennifer is starting to loose her looks and she has even developed a bit of upper thigh cellulite, a double chin, and inverted nipples.

Jolie stressed the fact that Aniston has about as much chance of getting back together with Brad as GOP plain Jane mouthpiece Ann Coulter has of someone telling her that she's nice, likeable, and pretty.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Dear reader, just like you, I also am wondering how in the world Jolie knows that Aniston has inverted nipples.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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