Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 18 July 2012

image for A Very Pregnant Snooki Polizzi Looks Like A Bowling Ball With Legs and Arms
Snooki says that since becoming pregnant she has cut back on her daily pizza consumption from 5 pizzas to just 3.

HACKENSACK, New Jersey - Jessica Simpson seemed to be pregnant for ten months before she gave birth to Maxwell House Drew Simpson-Johnson.

And it now appears that one of the stars of The Jersey Shore, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi just might be giving her some competition in the weight-gaining department.

According to a very close long time friend, who did not want her named mentioned, Snooki is starting to resemble a bowling ball with legs and arms.

The extremely short reality show star who is 4-foot-9-inches tall was recently out shopping for a baby rattle at a local Walmart when she was stopped in the parking lot by a Hackensack policeman.

She was told that she needed to cover up her midsection which was scaring lots of the shoppers, employees, and homeless people.

Snooki argued that if she wants to wear a little halter top with a pair of stretchable Daisy Duke short shorts then it is her right as an American-born guidette to do so.

The police officer, identified as Patroman Melvino Benchapelli [Badge #89002], told her that he was not going to play games with her and either she would cover up her tremendously large stomach or he would arrest her.

She told him that she was not going to cover up her belly. Officer Benchapelli gave her one more chance and and told her to cover up or he would have no choice but to taser her because she was causing a public disturbance.

And again Polizzi refused replying. "I am not going to cover up my gigantic belly you creep so if you want to freakin' taser me then you can go ahead and..."

Pzzzzzzzt!-Pzzzzzzzt!.

News From The World of Agriculture. The government of Laos has banned the exporting of plums to other countries until it can find out why eating Laotian plums causes the consumers ears to light up and start blinking on and off.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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