Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 11 July 2012

image for The Very Sexy Sofia Vergara Off The Market
Sofia loves orange juice and says she drinks about 17 glasses a day.

LOS ANGELES - One of the stars of the hit comedy series Modern Family, Sofia Vergara, has just become engaged to her boyfriend of two years Nick Loeb.

Loeb is a Florida businessman who reportedly has dealings in the orange pulp business as well as he is the number one American exporter of grapefruit to Holland.

Vergara and Loeb first met at an Orange Bowl Parade after party in Miami. Sofia had just been named Miss Citrus Smell of 2010.

The extremely sexy Colombian-born actress was asked what attracted her to Loeb. Vergara who has a tremendously thick accent replied that it was the fact that 'Tricky Nicky," as she calls him, spoke English with no accent at all.

When Loeb was asked what first attracted him to Sofia he grinned like the Cape Coral cat that swallowed the Cocoa Beach canary and simply said that it was lots of things but actually two main ones.

Loeb, who is very shy, was asked to name the two things. He blushed and simply said that they rhyme with the word 'shockers.'

In News From The Animal World. Dutch hunters in Upper Shambutu have discovered a very unusual zebra that has red, white, and blue stripes. They plan to sell it to the United States government for lots of money.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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