Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 7 July 2012

image for Elvis Presley's Granddaughter Is A Lesbian Werewolf! - Today's Piffle Prize Winner
Number 47 Said To Number 3 - You're The Cutest Lesbian Werewolf I Ever Did see!

Once again the Daily Mail has scooped all three top slots in today's Piffle Prize Awards for three idiotic headlines accompanied by three non-stories.

The winner by a wide margin, as selected by the judges, was 'Elvis Presley's Granddaughter Is A Lesbian Werewolf!' Which of course she isn't. It's just a movie. It's also a classic example of name dropping by the DM. The granddaughter in question is Riley Keough, the daughter of Lisa-Marie Presley, who is appearing in the movie 'Jack And Diane.' She isn't really a werewolf, and is probably not a lesbian either.

Runner up in the Piffle Prize was another DM classic: 'That's A Bit Too Covered Up! Helen Flanagan Conceals Her Famous Cleavage Under An Animal Print Cardigan.'

The actor, formerly air-headed Rosie Webster from Coronation Street apparently wore an animal-print top on a night out in Mayfair with her boyfriend, Swansea City footballer, Scott Sinclair. Why this is put out as 'news' is anyone's guess, as Ms Flanagan's decision to keep her cleavage under wraps was probably motivated more by the lousy British weather, than a sudden attack of modesty.

Sneaking into the rankings in third place, was: 'Ever The Gent - Russell Crowe Carries The Shopping During Outing With Wife.'

"Now that's what I call a news story!" Piffle Prize judge, Herman Boering enthused. "I mean, whoever heard of such a thing? A chap goes out shopping with his wife, and carries the bags! It's outrageous! This sort of thing must be stopped! Before we know where we are, we'll all be laden with shopping bags! Still, it'll make a heck of a story for the Daily Mail!"

More from the PP judges when they next sit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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