Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 6 July 2012

image for Taylor Swift Pops Fireworks With Patrick Schwarzenegger
The guitar that Taylor writes most of her songs on. (Photo courtesy of Ashton Kutcher).

HYANNISPORT, Massachusetts - It appears that Taylor Swift certainly saw lots of fireworks as she spent the 4th of July holiday visiting the Kennedy Hyannisport Compound.

And as impressed as Taylor was with the aerial display of fireworks she was much more impressed with the fireworks that her heart was feeling courtesy of her new boyfriend Patrick Schwarzenegger, son of Arnold "Da Man" Schwarzenegger and Maria "Queen Mary" Shriver.

Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle was also a guest at the Kennedy Compound and she stated that by all accounts it certainly appears that Patrick, 18, is definitely one young man, about whom Taylor, 22, will soon be writing songs about.

Some of Swift's previous boyfriends who saw themselves immortalized in her songs include Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Miss Chiptole noted that Taylor and Patrick make a very nice couple and both share a tremendous fondness for mother-in-law jokes, wienerschnitzel, and Sandra Bullock movies.

Patrick even noted that he has memorized the words to four of Taylor's songs. The first one is "Dear John," which she wrote about her relationship with John Mayer.

The second one is "Back To December," which she wrote about Taylor Lautner. The third is "Last Kiss," which was penned about Joe Jonas, and the fourth song is "Mean," which was written about her affair with Jake Gyllenhaal.

When asked if he feels that one day he may also be in one of her songs, Patrick smiled and replied, "Yeah, perhaps, but it will be a nice love song, I don't see Taylor unmercifully attacking me in a song."

SIDENOTE: Taylor wanted to clear up the rumor that Katie Holmes had called her up and asked her to write a scathing song about Tom Cruise. She stated that she does not write third party songs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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